Spiritually Incurious

When I had the idea to write this piece, I did so with the clear objective that by the end of it, I would force myself to at long last nail down my views on spirituality. I’ve written before about how I’m completely irreligious, but haven’t said much of spirituality. I knew I had to give a concrete answer, so I put off writing this piece all week and gave some serious consideration to where I land on spirituality.

Now, I’ve not cared about God for quite some time, if ever. I went and continue to go about life as though there is no God and I’m not left wanting for anything in the absence of a God. For me, I make my decisions based on the good something will do both for myself and others, the pleasure gained, and the potential outcome. Point being, I don’t do anything that I’ve been told to do by any doctrine. If you do, that’s great. Far be it from me to say that my lonely, cynical way of thinking is the way. Nor am I better than anyone for acting this way. 

But that’s God, and spirituality can be completely separate from that. Some people are agnostic in nature yet wax romantic about their place in the universe, auras, vibes, sign, etc. I get that too. There is undoubtedly a draw towards something bigger than us, there is certainly an energy that people and places give off. It’s hard to deny that when you meet a person, you know immediately if they’re bad news. But in thinking about this all week, I’ve concluded that I’m completely uninterested in spirituality for myself. 

I don’t know what it is, but I am not concerned anything beyond the earth. Space is exciting, vast, and mysterious, yes. The universe is scientifically fascinating as a subject. But, it does me no good to ascribe spiritual or universal meaning to life events when they’re simply mundane. I don’t think the universe affects a thing. I don’t think I’m tapped into any sort of vibrations, and I don’t seek them out. I’m utterly disinterested. The Earth is full of wonders, and this can bring tears to my eyes. Animals, I find, are the one thing that completely melt my heart. But, animals are real, and their behaviors easily explicable. I don’t believe in fate, destiny, serendipity, or things lining up for you – signs from “the universe” etc. None of it interests me. Living is hard enough, Earth is complex enough. Most everything has a logical explanation, and that’s where I land on things. 

As I said, the energy in people and places is undeniable. I feel that, and while I can’t explain it, it’s a tangible bodily feeling. I can pinpoint the way my body tenses up when talking to certain people or when I walk into a certain place. It’s a palpable reaction. That, to me, is real. Perhaps I’m overly concerned with reality, and all things provable. I’m spiritually incurious. I don’t even have an interest in things outside of Earth. I could be missing out on things, but I’ve so much extra space in my brain without religion and spirituality. 

This isn’t to say that I don’t feel connections. I have so much empathy I could probably offload some if anyone wants it. But, this empathy, this is a connection with my fellow humans. But what I don’t care about is anything beyond this Earth. 

I don’t care what happens when I die at all. It’s uninteresting. 

When I go, I go, and hopefully I’ve made a difference in at least one person’s life during my time here. But God, the universe, all that, I really don’t care, nor am I even curious.

Published by Christopher Goodlof

Writer, Visual Artist, Musician

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