“This is perfect,” I thought to myself, “I’m in a beautiful house surrounded by gorgeous nature, clearly this is an occasion to begin writing a masterpiece – a profound, career-defining work born of an isolated, personal connection with the natural world.” How could I not think that way? So many incredible works are written inContinue reading “Nothing Profound”
Category Archives: Humor
Stop It, Marvel.
When I was younger, I loved superheroes, namely Batman. Before nerds come for my throat, I’m aware Batman isn’t Marvel – holster your angry thumbs. I loved Batman and continue to do so. I’ve even got the Joker and Harley Quinn tattooed in the art style of the Batman cartoon from my youth. So, toContinue reading “Stop It, Marvel.”
Shark Tank Disturbs Me
Hold on tight, I don’t know where this one is going. When I come up with writing ideas, I immediately write them in my phone’s notes so as not to lose the thought. These notes can be quite detailed, outlining just what it is I’m thinking about writing – generally, when the notes are thorough,Continue reading “Shark Tank Disturbs Me”
I’ve Never Been in a Fight
It’s probably not surprising to know that I’ve never been in a fight. Verbal fights, yes, most certainly, though they’re to be avoided at all costs. But physical fights, I’ve managed to steer clear of those for 30-years now. I’m proud of that. And while I’m sure, to some, this signifies a weakness of characterContinue reading “I’ve Never Been in a Fight”
Sports
Sports have never been my forte, not even a little bit, though I tried, believe me. When I was younger, we had videogames that could keep us indoors all day, which I preferred, but there were still some kids, friends of mine, that preferred playing outside – those freaks. As I got older, the valueContinue reading “Sports”
Loneliness: An Anecdote
At around 3 o’clock in the afternoon, I take my dog Jango for his second walk. Jango, a little guy, needs a harness or I’ll lose the bastard; and so, he’s strapped into a cute green harness. We walk left at the end of the sidewalk, and after a few short turns, we hit theContinue reading “Loneliness: An Anecdote”
Most Things Bother Me
The phrase “I contain multitudes” can apply to us all. We all hold entirely contradictory beliefs and ideas. There’s nothing wrong with that; I don’t know anyone, not one single person, whose entire personality from top to bottom is one cohesive unit with all parts working towards the same goal. No, we all tend toContinue reading “Most Things Bother Me”
Dying on the Steps of a Wildwood Motel: A Flirting Misadventure
Romance isn’t my strong suit. I’m a loving guy, and a total mush, but the wooing and flirting part isn’t something I’m particularly skilled at. Nor am I good at recognizing when I’m flirted with. In my early 20’s, I struggled meeting someone, anyone. I had no confidence, in no small part due to myContinue reading “Dying on the Steps of a Wildwood Motel: A Flirting Misadventure”
You Might Be the Problem
People are, to say the least, a mixed bag. We could be loving, tender, understanding, and selfless, but we can also be hateful, insensitive, ignorant, and selfish – sometimes all in the same day. We’re prone to colossal fuck-ups, but are also capable of incredible feats. Since we contain such restless multitudes, we tend toContinue reading “You Might Be the Problem”
It’s Over: Celebrate, but Don’t Gloat
For more than half of the country, the last four years have been stressful to say the least. I’m not what one would consider a patriot, but the last four years made me embarrassed to be an American, even more so than before. But, as I write this, Donald Trump has vacated the White House,Continue reading “It’s Over: Celebrate, but Don’t Gloat”
Christopher Goodlof 