I’ve made my social media aversion abundantly clear at length, shouting into the void, publishing thousands of words on the subject that fell on deaf ears. That’s fine. But, as the title suggests, I had a secret Twitter account which I just shut down once I did what I set out to do. I’ll explain:Continue reading “I Had a Secret Twitter Account, It Was a Shit Show”
Category Archives: Humor
A Year, Nowhere
To say that this has been a historic year is an understatement. Pandemic, civil unrest, racial injustice, corruption, and all before Biden and Harris won the election. When written about, and especially because of the pandemic, this year will play out as a study in catastrophe and rebound, and catastrophe again, and then a littleContinue reading “A Year, Nowhere”
On Being Wrong
You’re going to be wrong, probably even at some point today. We’re raised to believe that being wrong is a shame, something to avoid. And while in the broader sense, it’s better to be right than wrong, being wrong isn’t that big of a deal. It’s more of something we ourselves need to get overContinue reading “On Being Wrong”
Taking Stock
Once a year, every year, I try peanut butter one time. You see, I’m deathly allergic, so I eat it and try to ride out the throat-closing for the sheer thrill of it all. I kid, of course. No, I’ve just never liked peanut butter. I don’t like the taste, the smell, the texture, the jars, noneContinue reading “Taking Stock”
Introverted Ham
In life, as in writing, I’m wordy and gregarious. I love to talk, I love to analyze, and I love to joke. But, I wouldn’t consider myself extroverted. None of this will come out if I’m uncomfortable. Trouble is: I’m mostly uncomfortable. Being a homebody has always been my way. I like going out, butContinue reading “Introverted Ham”
Through the Darkness, Together
I wrote a piece a lifetime ago back in July about the pandemic titled “Through the Pandemic, Leaderless.” It was a grim acknowledgement that we were hopelessly adrift and utterly devoid of a competent leader who has America’s best interests in mind. We didn’t have that leader, instead we were saddled with the most self-involvedContinue reading “Through the Darkness, Together”
You’re Dying
You’re dying, and you have been for a while. Sorry to remind you, but you are. If it makes you feel any better, I am too. Once we’re born, we start dying – not actively, but the process begins. The nine-month building crescendo of birth culminates in one final, disgusting finale, and then you’re out.Continue reading “You’re Dying”
Confessions of a Late Bloomer
Some people peak in high school, and that’s fine. But some of us, we aren’t quite ready in high school. We need a little more time in the oven, so to speak, before we’re fully done. The popular kids, you know who I mean – the ones surrounded by people at all times – theyContinue reading “Confessions of a Late Bloomer”
Jango: Puppy, Sex Offender
Next week will be one year since my family and I had to put our beloved English Bull Terrier, Oscar, to sleep. I’ve discussed this before, no need to trod out that sadness again. But in the wake of Oscar’s surprising departure at age nine, my family and I were left adrift. Oscar was aContinue reading “Jango: Puppy, Sex Offender”
Cheeseburgers and Neck Creatures: An Election Day Fantasy
DISCLAIMER: This piece is an entirely fictionalized account of the day after the presidential election on November 3, 2020. I was going to write something about my election day concerns, but we’re all drowning in those up to our earlobes, so instead I wanted to have some fun with the looming election. What follows is a humorousContinue reading “Cheeseburgers and Neck Creatures: An Election Day Fantasy”
Christopher Goodlof 