Crunch Berries Don’t Go There

I didn’t go to any parties in high school. I wasn’t invited and I wasn’t trying to be. The idea of ingratiating myself with the cool kids seemed exhausting. I knew that the cool kids weren’t special, and so debasing myself to get invited to parties wasn’t a priority. The more popular and perfect theContinue reading “Crunch Berries Don’t Go There”

You’re a Fraud, Isn’t That Wonderful?

We work on ourselves our whole lives. Well, most of us do. Some of us think we struck perfection and have been coasting on the same old hang-ups and flaws since then. But, for the rest of us for whom working on ourselves is a worthwhile endeavor, we trudge on through life’s miseries and tryContinue reading “You’re a Fraud, Isn’t That Wonderful?”

Masculinity and Me

No one that knows me would call me especially manly. For quite some time, masculinity has been synonymous with not only behaviors, but attitudes – of which I share next to none. Men were supposed to be strong, aggressive, tough, given to fight, sports-oriented, unemotional, and womanizing to name only a few. There has alwaysContinue reading “Masculinity and Me”

Leftover Vodka and Corpse Disposal

In Fall 2012, Hurricane Sandy ravaged the East Coast of the United States. Houses were destroyed, families were displaced, and lives were in ruin. This is the grim backdrop for our story today, dear reader: a ludicrous tale involving leftover vodka, torrential rain, violent winds, a dead squirrel, a furious dog, and corpse disposal –Continue reading “Leftover Vodka and Corpse Disposal”

“Yeah Right!”: A Toupee Adventure

I started to lose my hair in high school, probably around junior year or so. I was already the weird kid obsessed with classic rock that nobody wanted in their band, so the addition of thinning hair only complemented the general alienation; why not throw wispy hair on the already substantial pile of quirks? It’sContinue reading ““Yeah Right!”: A Toupee Adventure”

Manual Labor and Tony LittleDog

I am no stranger to manual labor, though my mind and body prefer me to avoid it at all costs. I don’t look like someone for whom manual labor is a constant, that’s something I’m proud of. But property needs maintenance, and no one is going anywhere, so we must maintain it ourselves. My folksContinue reading “Manual Labor and Tony LittleDog”